Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

OUR POWER:

Some of us have a person or persons in our life who challenges our
ability to trust and care for ourselves.

Do we give up our power to that person? The child in us can get
hooked with a mixture of feelings – love, fear, or anger. We may
feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can't think straight.
There may be a powerful tug-of-war going between feelings of
anger and our need to be loved and accepted.

We can start getting our power back by becoming aware of the
people who hook us, and then accepting that.

We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently
to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and
uncomfortable.

Search out our motivations. Are we somehow trying to control or
influence the other person?

We can learn to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who
we are free from their influence. We can learn to own our power
with difficult people. It may not happen overnight, but we can
begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people
who have hooked us.

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Friday, February 17, 2012

FRIENDSHIP:

Friends are a joy. Adult friendships can be a good place for us to
learn to have fun and to appreciate how much fun we can have
with a friend.

Often, our choice of friends will reflect the issues we're working on.
Giving and receiving support will help both people grow.

Some friendships wax and wane, going through cycles throughout
the years. Certainly, we will have trials and tests in friendships
and, at times, be called on to practice our recovery behaviors.

But some friendships will last a lifetime. Sometimes, our
friendships, especially recovery friendships, can be special love
relationships too.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

BEING DIRECT:

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

HEALING:

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

PERFECTION:

Sometimes, expecting perfection makes people so uptight that they
and we make more mistakes then normal because we are so
nervous and focused on mistakes.

That does not mean we allow inappropriate behaviors with the
excuse that "nobody's perfect." That doesn't mean we don't have
boundaries and reasonable expectations of people and ourselves.

But our expectations need to be reasonable. Expecting perfection
is not reasonable.

Striving for excellence, purity in creativity, a harmonious
performance, and the best we have to offer does not happen in the
atmosphere of expecting perfection.

Have and set boundaries. Have reasonable expectations. Strive to
do your best. Encourage others to do the same. But know that we
and others will make mistakes.

Encourage others and ourselves to do the best we can. Love and
nurture ourselves and others for being who we are. Then realize
we are not merely human – we were intended to be human.

Monday, February 13, 2012

ASKING:

Decide what it is you want and need, then go to the person you
need it from and ask for it.

But because of how difficult it can be, at times, to get what we want
and need, we may get trapped in the mind-set of believing it will
always be that difficult. Sometimes, not wanting to go through the
hassle, dreading the struggle, or out of fear, we may make getting
what we want and need much more difficult than it needs to be.

We may get angry before we ask, deciding that we'll never get what
we want, or anticipating the "fight" we'll have to endure. By the
time we talk to someone about what we want, we may be so angry
that we're demanding, not asking; thus our anger triggers a power
play that didn't exist except in our mind.

Or we may get so worked up that we don't ask – or we waste far
more energy than necessary fighting with ourselves, only to find
out that the other person, or our Higher Power, is happy to give us
what we want.

Sometimes in life, getting what we want and need is not so difficult.
Sometimes, all we need to do is ask.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

SAYING YES:

Yesterday we talked about learning to say no. Today let's discuss
another important word: Yes.

We can learn to say yes to healthy relationships, to people and
activities that are good for us.

We can learn to say yes when it feels right to help someone. We can
learn to say yes to our feelings. We can learn to identify when we
need to take a walk, take a nap, have our back rubbed, or buy
ourselves flowers.

We can learn to say yes to work that is right for us.

We can learn to say yes to all that will nurture and nourish us. We
can learn to say yes to the best life and love have to offer.