THOSE NOT IN RECOVERY:

~

We can go forward with our life and recoveries,
even though someone we love is not yet recovering.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is
cold and dark. We stood there with others in the
cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us
developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain.
Some drank; some used other drugs. Some of us lost
control of our sexual behavior. Some of us obsessively
focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from
our own pain. Many of us did both: we developed an
addictive behavior, and distracted ourselves by
focusing on other addicted people. We did not know
there was a bridge.

Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened. We saw
the bridge. People told us what was on the other side:
warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We could
barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to
start the trek across the bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on the
cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but
they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they
couldn't believe. They were not ready for the journey.
We decided to go alone, because we believed, and
because people on the other side were cheering us
onward. The closer we got to the other side, the more
we could see, and feel, that what we had been promised
was real. There was light, warmth, healing, and love.
The other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between us and those on the
other side. Sometimes, we may be tempted to go back
and drag them over with us, but it cannot be done. No
one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each
person must go at his or her own choice, when the time
is right. Some will come; some will stay on the other
side. The choice is not ours.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we
have already crossed and are standing in the light
and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where
we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the
dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.

The best thing we can do is stay in the light,
because it reassures others that there is a better
place. And if others ever do decide to cross the
bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.