Wednesday, May 30, 2007

EXPECTATIONS:

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It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way
of getting those needs met.

It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our
every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and
need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or
not to respond to our request.

It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source
for meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful,
maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we
expected.

It is reasonable to have certain and well-defined expectations of our
spouse, children, and friends.

If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take
responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set
a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship
to accommodate that person's unavailability.

It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic
about how much we ask or expect of any particular person.

The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible
for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover
an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.

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