GIVING:

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Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge. Many of us got caught
up in compulsive giving – charitable acts motivated by uncharitable
feelings of guilt, shame, obligation, pity, and moral superiority.

Many of us gave too much, thinking we were doing things right; then we
became confused because our life and relationships weren't working.
Many of us gave so much for so long, thinking we were doing God's will;
then in recovery, we refused to give, care, or love for a time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But healthy giving is part of
healthy living. The goal in recovery is balance – caring that is motivated
by a true desire to give, with an underlying attitude of respect for
ourselves and others.

The goal in recovery is to choose what we want to give to whom, when,
and how much. The goal in recovery is to give, and not feel victimized by
our giving.

Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or do they prevent others
from facing their true responsibilities?

Are we giving so that people will like us or feel obligated to us? Are we
giving to prove we're worthy? Or are we giving because we want to
give and it feels right?

Recovery includes a cycle of giving and receiving. It keeps healthy
energy flowing among us, our Higher Power, and others. It takes time
to learn how to give in healthy ways. It takes time to learn to receive.
Be patient. Balance will come.