WE ARE LOVABLE:

~

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For
many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-
fulfilling prophecy.

Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers,
friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to
choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we
don't believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a
particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and
push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact.

While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we
deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in
our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren't loved was
because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction,
but an inappropriate one. If others couldn't love us, or love us in ways that
worked, that's not our fault. In recovery, we're learning to separate ourselves
from the behavior of others. And we're learning to take responsibility for our
healing regardless of the people around us.

Just as we may have believed that we're unlovable, we can become skilled at
practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief will improve the
quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship:
our relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love us and
become open to the love and friendship we deserve.

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