ENABLERS:

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A people-pleaser - they tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is
turned inside out to please another is often irritating.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family.
We may not have been able to get the love and attention we wanted. We may
not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to
choose a course of action that demonstrated self-caring.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others,
chattering a mile-a-minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm
pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making
important decisions based on pleasing others.

Taking other people's stuff into consideration is an important part of our
relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers.
We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people-
pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get
annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most
comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but
ultimately please themselves.

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