SADNESS:

~

In the past, we told ourselves many things to deny the pain: It doesn't hurt
that much … Maybe if I just wait, things will change … It's no big deal. I can
get through this … Maybe if I try to change the other person, I won't have to
change myself.

We denied that it hurt because we didn't want to feel the pain.

Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps repeating itself, until it gets
our attention, until we feel it, deal with it, and heal. That's one lesson we
are learning in recovery from codependency and adult children issues.

Many of us didn't have the tools, support, or safety we needed to acknowledge
and accept pain in our past. It's okay. We're safe now. Slowly, carefully, we
can begin to open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the process of
feeling what we have denied so long – not to blame, not to shame, but to heal
ourselves in preparation for a better life.

It's okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness many of us have
stored within for so long. We can feel and release these feelings.

Grief is a cleansing process. It's an acceptance process. It moves us from our
past, into today, and into a better future – a future free of sabotaging
behaviors, a future that holds more options than our past.

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