SHAME:

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Shame is a trademark of dysfunctional families.

Legitimate shame is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be altered, or we should make an amend.

Shame is an overwhelming sense that who we are isn't okay. We can change our behaviors, but we can't change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.

We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others.

Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It's okay to be who we are. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It's okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It's okay to be human.

Accepting ourselves as we are is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is also an important step.

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