THOSE NOT IN RECOVERY:

~

We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we
love is not yet recovering.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood
there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us
developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank; some used
other drugs. Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior. Some of us
obsessively focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from our own
pain. Many of us did both: we developed an addictive behavior, and distracted
ourselves by focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a
bridge.

Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened. We saw the bridge. People told us
what was on the other side: warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We
could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to start the trek across the
bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was a bridge
to a better place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they couldn't
believe. They were not ready for the journey. We decided to go alone, because
we believed, and because people on the other side were cheering us onward.
The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what
we had been promised was real. There was light, warmth, healing, and love.
The other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between us and those on the other side. Sometimes,
we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us, but it cannot be
done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go
at his or her own choice, when the time is right. Some will come; some will stay
on the other side. The choice is not ours.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we have already crossed and
are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where
we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because
another's time has not yet come.

The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that
there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to cross the bridge, we will
be there to cheer them on.

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