COMPETITION:

~

"Yes, I know your spouse is an alcoholic, but my son is an alcoholic, and
that's different. That's worse!"

What an easy trap that can be for us. We are out to show others how victimized
we have been, how much we hurt, how unfair life is, and what a tremendous
martyr we are. And we won't be happy until we do!

The goal in recovery is not to show others how much we hurt or have hurt. The
goal is to stop our pain, and to share that solution with others.

If we find ourselves trying to prove to someone how much we've been hurt or if
we try to top someone else's pain, we may want to stop and figure out what's
going on. Do we need to recognize how much we've hurt or are hurting?

There is no particular award or reward for suffering, as many of us tricked
ourselves into believing in the height of our codependency. The reward is
learning to stop the pain and move into joy, peace, and fulfillment.

That is the gift of recovery, and it is equally available to each of us, even
if our pain was greater, or less, than someone else's.

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