RELATIONSHIPS:

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As we progress through recovery, we learn we can no longer form relationships
solely on the basis of attraction. We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves
to take into account important facts, and to process information about that
person.

What we are striving for in recovery is a healthy attraction to people. We
allow ourselves to be attracted to who people are, not to their potential or
to what we hope they are.

The more we overcome our need to be excessive caretakers, the less we will
find ourselves attracted to people who need to be constantly taken care of.

This is a slow process. We need to be patient with ourselves. The type of
people we find ourselves attracted to does not change overnight. Being
attracted to dysfunctional people can linger long and well into recovery. That
does not mean we need to allow it to control us. The fact is, we will initiate
and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what
it is we need to learn – no matter how long we've been recovering.

We can stop blaming our relationships on God, and begin to take responsibility
for them. We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships, and remove
ourselves more quickly from the dysfunctional ones.

We can learn to look for what's good for us, instead of what's good for the
other person.

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