WORK:

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Just as we have relationship histories, most of us have work histories.

Just as we develop a healthy attitude toward our relationship history
– one that will help us learn and move forward – we can develop a
healthy attitude toward our work history.

I have worked at jobs I hated but was temporarily dependent on. I
have gotten stuck in jobs because I was afraid to strike out on my
own and find my next set of circumstances.

I have been in some jobs to develop skills. Sometimes, I didn't know I
was developing those skills until later when they became an
important part of the career of my choice.

I have worked at jobs where I have felt victimized, where I felt like I
gave and gave and received nothing in return. I have been in
relationships where I manufactured similar feelings.

I have worked at some jobs that have taught me what I absolutely
didn't want; others sparked in me an idea of what I really did want
and deserve in my career.

Some of my jobs have helped me develop character; others have
helped me fine-tune skills. They have all been a place to practice
recovery behaviors.

Just as I have needed to clear the wreckage of feelings about past
relationships, I have needed to finish my business with jobs and
careers.

I have learned something from each job, and my work history has
helped create who I am.

I learned something else: there was a Plan, and I was being led.
The more I trusted my instincts, what I wanted, and what felt right,
the more I felt that I was being led.

The more I refused to lose my soul to a job and worked at it because
I wanted to and not for the paycheck, the less victimized I felt by any
career, even those jobs that paid a meager salary. The more I set
goals and took responsibility for achieving the career I wanted, the
more I could decide whether a particular job fit into that scheme of
things. I could understand why I was working at a particular job and
how that was going to benefit me.

There are times I have panicked at work an about where I was in my
employment history. Panic never helped. Trust and working my
program did.

There were times I looked around and wondered why I was where I
was. There were times people thought I should be someplace
different. But when I looked into myself and at God, I knew I was in
the right place, for the moment.

There were times I didn't get the promotion I wanted. There were
times I refused a promotion because it didn't feel right.

There are times I have to quit a job and walk away in order to be true
to myself. Sometimes, that was frightening. Sometimes, I felt like a
failure. But I learned this: If I was working my program and true to
myself, I never had to fear where I was being led.

I've learned that I'm not stuck or trapped in a job no more than I am
in a relationship. I have choices. I may not be able to see them clearly
right now, but I do have choices. I've learned that if I really want to
take care of myself in a particular way on a job, I will do that. And if I
really want to be victimized by a job, I will allow that to happen too.

Above all else, I've learned to accept and trust my present
circumstances at work. That does not mean to submit; it does not
mean to forego boundaries. It means to trust, accept, then take care
of myself the best I'm able to on any given day.

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