NOT WILLPOWER:

~

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender
is.

"I have spent years trying to make emotionally unavailable people
be emotionally present for me," said one recovering person.

What I'm saying is this: I've spent much of my life desperately and
vainly trying to do the impossible and feeling like a failure when I
couldn't . It's been like planting corn and trying to make the seeds
grow peas. Won't work!

"By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the presence of mind to
stop wasting my time and energy trying to change and control that
which I cannot change and control. It gives me permission to stop
trying to do the impossible and focus on what is possible: being who I
am, loving myself, feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do
with my life."

In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply because we cannot
win. We also learn that the more we are focused on controlling and
changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more
we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and
the more manageable our life will become.

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