BAD HABITS:

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We can learn not to get hooked into unhealthy behaviors in
relationships – behaviors such as care taking, controlling,
discounting ourselves, and believing lies.

We can learn to identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to
be fooled.

Often, people do things with or without knowing it that pull us into a
series of self-defeating behaviors we call codependency. Sometimes
these hooks can be deliberate.

Someone may hint or sigh about a problem, thinking or hoping that
hint or sigh will hook us into taking care of him or her. That's
manipulation.

When people hint and sigh about something, then coyly say, "Oh,
never mind, that's not for you to worry about," that's a game. We're
about to get sucked in, if we allow that to happen.

Our strong point is that we care allot. Our weak point is that we
often underestimate the people with whom we're dealing. It is time
we give up our naïve assumption that people don't follow agendas of
their own in their best interest.

We also want to look at ourselves. Do we give hooks, looks, hints,
hoping to hook another? We need to insist that we behave in a direct
and honest manner with others.

If someone wants something from us, insist that the person ask us
directly for it. Require the same from ourselves.

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