WE ARE LOVABLE:

~

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love
me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can
become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with
co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This
belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less
than we deserve because we don't believe we deserve better. We
may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our
last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people
away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact.

While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love
we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by
important people in our life. We may have concluded that the
reason we weren't loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming
ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one.
If others couldn't love us, or love us in ways that worked, that's not
our fault. In recovery, we're learning to separate ourselves from the
behavior of others. And we're learning to take responsibility for our
healing regardless of the people around us.

Just as we may have believed that we're unlovable, we can become
skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief
will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our
most important relationship: our relationship with our self. We will
be able to let others love us and become open to the love and
friendship we deserve.

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