Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery)
Some thoughts about recovery. * Take what you like and leave the rest.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
DIFFICULT PEOPLE:
~
Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from
someone who has nothing to give. We may have spent years
negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past
and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to
love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.
It is time to let it go. That doesn't mean we can't love that person
anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes
when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that
person to be who he or she actually is.
We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into
account.
We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms – taking
ourselves and our needs into account. If a person is addicted to
alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her
addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And
we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.
We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us.
We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of
loving and taking care of ourselves.
We decide how we want to interact with that person, taking reality
and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt,
but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we
become set free from bondage.
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