GIVING:

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Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge. Many of us got
caught up in compulsive giving – charitable acts motivated by
uncharitable feelings of guilt, shame, obligation, pity, and moral
superiority.

Many of us gave too much, thinking we were doing things right;
then we became confused because our life and relationships weren't
working. Many of us gave so much for so long, thinking we were
doing God's will; then in recovery, we refused to give, care, or love
for a time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But healthy giving is part of
healthy living. The goal in recovery is balance – caring that is
motivated by a true desire to give, with an underlying attitude of
respect for ourselves and others.

The goal in recovery is to choose what we want to give to whom,
when, and how much. The goal in recovery is to give, and not feel
victimized by our giving.

Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or do they prevent
others from facing their true responsibilities?

Are we giving so that people will like us or feel obligated to us? Are
we giving to prove we're worthy? Or are we giving because we want
to give and it feels right?

Recovery includes a cycle of giving and receiving. It keeps healthy
energy flowing among us, our Higher Power, and others. It takes
time to learn how to give in healthy ways. It takes time to learn to
receive. Be patient. Balance will come.

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