THOSE NOT IN RECOVERY:

~

We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone
we love is not yet recovering.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We
stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in
pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain.
Some drank; some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our
sexual behavior. Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people's
pain to distract us from our own pain. Many of us did both: we
developed an addictive behavior, and distracted ourselves by
focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a
bridge.

Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened. We saw the bridge.
People told us what was on the other side: warmth, light, and healing
from our pain. We could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we
decided to start the trek across the bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was
a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't
see it; they couldn't believe. They were not ready for the journey.
We decided to go alone, because we believed, and because people on
the other side were cheering us onward. The closer we got to the
other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what we had been
promised was real. There was light, warmth, healing, and love. The
other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between us and those on the other side.
Sometimes, we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with
us, but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this
bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice, when the time
is right. Some will come; some will stay on the other side. The choice
is not ours.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we have already
crossed and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to
feel guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do not have to go
back to the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.

The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures
others that there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to
cross the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.

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