ENABLERS:

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A people-pleaser - they tend to be displeasing. Being around
someone who is turned inside out to please another is often
irritating.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our
family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we
wanted. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves,
to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that
demonstrated self-caring.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing
over others, chattering a mile-a-minute when what we are really
saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert,
quietly going through life making important decisions based on
pleasing others.

Taking other people's stuff into consideration is an important part of
our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and
employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and
caring. But, people-pleasing backfires. Not only do others get
annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do
not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around
are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please
themselves.

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