ENABLERS:

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A people-pleaser - they tend to be displeasing. Being around
someone who is turned inside out to please another is often
irritating.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in
our family. We may not have been able to get the love and
attention we wanted. We may not have been given permission to
please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of
action that demonstrated self-caring.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing
over others, chattering a mile-a-minute when what we are really
saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert,
quietly going through life making important decisions based on
pleasing others.

Taking other people's stuff into consideration is an important part
of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family
and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving
and caring. But, people-pleasing backfires. Not only do others get
annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please
do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be
around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately
please themselves.

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