VULNERABILITY:

~

Some of us may have made a decision that no one was ever going to
hurt us again. We may automatically go on "feelings freeze mode"
when faced with emotional pain.

Hurt feelings are a part of life, relationships, and recovery.

It is understandable that we don't want to feel any more pain. Many
of us have had more than our share. In fact, at some time in our life,
we may have been overwhelmed, crushed, or stopped in our tracks
by the amount of pain we felt. We may not have had the resources
to cope with our pain or take care of ourselves.

That was yesterday. Today, we don't have to be so frightened of
pain. It does not have to overwhelm us. We are becoming strong
enough to deal with hurt feelings. And we don't have to become
martyrs, claiming that hurt feelings and suffering are all there is to
life.

We need only allow ourselves to feel vulnerable enough to feel hurt,
when that's appropriate, and take responsibility for our feelings,
behaviors, and what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We
don't have to analyze or justify our feelings. We need to feel them,
and try not to let them control our behavior.

Maybe our pain is showing us we need to set a boundary; maybe it's
showing us we're going in a wrong direction; maybe it's triggering a
deep healing process.

It's okay to feel hurt; it's okay to cry; it's okay to heal; it's okay to
move on to the next feeling, when it's time. Our willingness and
capacity to feel hurt will eventually be matched by our willingness
and capacity to feel joy.

Being in recovery does not mean immunity from pain; it means
learning to take loving care of ourselves when we are in pain.

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