GOSSIP:

Intimacy is that warm gift of feeling
connected to others and enjoying our

connection to them.

As we grow in recovery, we find that
gift in many, sometimes surprising
places.

Intimacy is not sex, although sex can
be intimate. Intimacy means mutually

honest, warm, caring, safe
relationships – relationships where
both people are valued.

Sometimes there are troublesome
feelings to work through. Sometimes
the boundaries or parameters of
relationships change. But there is a
bond.

There are many blocks to intimate
relationships. Addictions and abuse,

unresolved family of origin issues,
controlling, off balance relationships,

where there is too great a discrepancy
in power, care taking, nagging,
withdrawing, and shutting down can
hurt intimacy.

So can a simple behavior like gossip
– for example, to discuss another

person's issues, shortcomings, or
failures with someone else will have
a predictable negative impact on the
relationship.

That does not mean we walk around
with our heads in the clouds; it
means we strive to keep our motives
clean when it comes to discussing
other people.

If we have a serious issue with
someone, the best way to resolve it
is to bring the issue to that person.

Direct, clean conversation clears the
air and paves the way for intimacy.

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