NOT WILLPOWER:

Willpower is not the key to the way
of life we are seeking. Surrender is.

"I have spent years trying to make
emotionally unavailable people be

emotionally present for me," said one
recovering person.

What I'm saying is this: I've spent
much of my life desperately and
vainly trying to do the impossible and
feeling like a failure when I couldn't.
It's been like planting corn and trying
to make the seeds grow peas. Won't
work!

"By surrendering to powerlessness, I
gain the presence of mind to stop
wasting my time and energy trying to
change and control that which I
cannot change and control. It gives
me permission to stop trying to do the
impossible and focus on what is
possible: being who I am, loving
myself, feeling what I feel, and

doing what I want to do with my life."

In recovery, we learn to stop fighting
lions, simply because we cannot win.
We also learn that the more we are
focused on controlling and changing
others, the more unmanageable our
life becomes. The more we focus on
living our own life, the more we have
a life to live, and the more
manageable our life will become.

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