ACCEPTANCE:

One of the most frustrating stages of
acceptance is the bargaining stage. In denial,
there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of
power. In bargaining, we vacillate between
believing there is something we can do to
change things and realizing there isn't .

There are stories about attempts to bargain
with the alcoholic's drinking: "If I keep the
house cleaner, he won't drink … If I buy my
son a new car, he'll stop using drugs."

We do big, small, and in-between things,
sometimes crazy things, to ward off, stop, or
stall the pain involved with accepting reality.

There is no substitute for accepting reality.
That's our goal. But along the way, we may
try to strike a deal. Recognizing our attempts
at bargaining for what they are – part of the
grief process – helps our lives become
manageable.

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