ACCEPTANCE:

One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance
is the bargaining stage. In denial, there is bliss.
In anger, there is some sense of power. In
bargaining, we vacillate between believing there
is something we can do to change things and
realizing there isn't .

There are stories about attempts to bargain with
the alcoholic's drinking: "If I keep the house
cleaner, he won't drink … If I buy my son a new
car, he'll stop using drugs."

We do big, small, and in-between things,
sometimes crazy things, to ward off, stop, or
stall the pain involved with accepting reality.

There is no substitute for accepting reality. That's
our goal. But along the way, we may try to strike
a deal. Recognizing our attempts at bargaining for

what they are – part of the grief process – helps
our lives become manageable.

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