LOVE:

Many of us have worked too hard to make
relationships work; sometimes those
relationships didn't have a chance because
the other person was unavailable or refused
to participate.

To compensate for the other person's
unavailability, we worked too hard. This may
mask the situation for a while, but we usually
get tired. Then, when we stop doing all the
work, we notice there is no relationship.

Doing all the work in a relationship is not
loving, giving, or caring. It is self-defeating
and relationship-defeating. It creates the
illusion of a relationship when in fact there
may be no relationship. It enables the other

person to be irresponsible for his or her
share.

In our best relationships, we all have
temporary periods where one person

participates more than the other. This is
normal. But as a permanent way of

participating in relationships, it leaves us
feeling tired, worn out, needy, and angry.

We can learn to participate a reasonable
amount, then let the relationship find it's own
life. Are we doing all the initiating?

We can let go. If the relationship is meant to
be, it will be. We do not help that process by
trying to control it.

Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about
making it happen.

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