LOVE:

Many of us have worked too hard to make
relationships work; sometimes those
relationships didn't have a chance because the
other person was unavailable or refused to
participate.

To compensate for the other person's
unavailability, we worked too hard. This may
mask the situation for a while, but we usually
get tired. Then, when we stop doing all the
work, we notice there is no relationship.

Doing all the work in a relationship is not
loving, giving, or caring. It is self-defeating
and relationship-defeating. It creates the
illusion of a relationship when in fact there may
be no relationship. It enables the other person to
be irresponsible for his or her share.

In our best relationships, we all have temporary
periods where one person participates more than
the other. This is normal. But as a permanent
way of participating in relationships, it leaves us
feeling tired, worn out, needy, and angry.

We can learn to participate a reasonable amount,
then let the relationship find it's own life. Are we
doing all the initiating?

We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be,
it will be. We do not help that process by trying
to control it.

Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about
making it happen.

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