FINANCE:

I had been so strong, so brave, so trusting
for so long. I was a single parent with
two children, recently divorced. I had
worked so courageously at being grateful
for what I had, while setting financial
goals and working at believing I
deserved the best.

I had put up with so much poverty, so
much deprivation. Daily, I worked the

Eleventh Step. I worked so hard at
praying for knowledge of God's will for
me only, and the power to carry it
through. I was doing my best, working
my hardest.

And there just wasn't enough money.
Life had been a struggle in many ways,
but the financial struggle seemed endless.

Money isn't everything, but it takes
money to solve certain problems. I was

sick of "letting go" and "letting go" and
"letting go." I was sick of "acting as if" I
had enough money. I was tired of having
to work so hard daily at letting go of the
pain and fear about not having enough. I
was tired of working so hard at being
happy without having enough. Actually,
most of the time I was happy. I had
found my soul in poverty. But now that I
had my soul and my self, I wanted some
money too.

While I sat in the car trying to compose
myself, I heard God speak to me in that
silent, still voice that whispers gently to
our souls.

"You don't ever have to worry about
money again, child. Not unless you want

to. I told you that I would take care of
you. And I will."

Great, I thought. Thanks a lot. I believe
you. I trust you. But look around. I have
no money. I have no food. You've let me
down.

Again I heard His voice in my soul: "You
don't have to worry about money again.
You don't have to be afraid. I promised to
meet all your needs."

I went home, called a friend, and asked to
borrow some money. I hated borrowing,
but I had no choice. My breakdown in the
car was a release, but it didn't solve a
thing – that day. There was no check in
the mailbox.

But I got food for the day. And the next
day. And the next. Within six months, my
income doubled. Within nine months, it
tripled. Since that day, I have had hard
times, but I have never had to go without
– not for more than a moment in time.

Now, I have enough. Sometimes I still
worry about money because that seems to

be habitual. But now I know I don't have
to, and I know I never did.

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