GIVING:

Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge.
Many of us got caught up in compulsive giving
– charitable acts motivated by uncharitable
feelings of guilt, shame, obligation, pity, and
moral superiority.

Many of us gave too much, thinking we were
doing things right; then we became confused
because our life and relationships weren't
working. Many of us gave so much for so long,
thinking we were doing God's will; then in
recovery, we refused to give, care, or love for a
time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But
healthy giving is part of healthy living. The goal
in recovery is balance – caring that is motivated
by a true desire to give, with an underlying
attitude of respect for ourselves and others.

The goal in recovery is to choose what we want
to give to whom, when, and how much. The
goal in recovery is to give, and not feel
victimized by our giving.

Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or
do they prevent others from facing their true
responsibilities?

Are we giving so that people will like us or feel
obligated to us? Are we giving to prove we're
worthy? Or are we giving because we want to
give and it feels right?

Recovery includes a cycle of giving and
receiving. It keeps healthy energy flowing
among us, our Higher Power, and others. It
takes time to learn how to give in healthy ways.
It takes time to learn to receive. Be patient.
Balance will come.

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