Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery): BAD HABITS:

We can learn not to get hooked into
unhealthy behaviors in relationships –

behaviors such as care taking,
controlling, discounting ourselves, and

believing lies.

We can learn to identify hooks, and
choose not to allow ourselves to be
fooled.

Often, people do things with or without
knowing it that pull us into a series of
self-defeating behaviors we call
codependency. Sometimes these hooks
can be deliberate.

Someone may hint or sigh about a
problem, thinking or hoping that hint or
sigh will hook us into taking care of him
or her. That's manipulation.

When people hint and sigh about
something, then coyly say, "Oh, never
mind, that's not for you to worry about,"
that's a game. We're about to get sucked

in, if we allow that to happen.

Our strong point is that we care allot.
Our weak point is that we often

underestimate the people with whom
we're dealing. It is time we give up our

naïve assumption that people don't
follow agendas of their own in their best

interest.

We also want to look at ourselves. Do
we give hooks, looks, hints, hoping to

hook another? We need to insist that we
behave in a direct and honest manner

with others.

If someone wants something from us,
insist that the person ask us directly for

it. Require the same from ourselves.

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