PROVING IT TO OURSELVES:

Trying to prove how good we are, trying
to prove we're good enough, trying to

show someone how much he or she has
hurt us, trying to show someone we're

understanding, are warning signs that we
may be into our self-defeating behaviors.

They can be a warning that we've
allowed ourselves to get hooked into a

dysfunctional system. They may indicate
that we're stuck in that cloudy fog of

denial or doing something that is not
good for us.

Trying excessively to make a point with
another may mean that we have not yet

made that point with ourselves. Once we
make that point with ourselves, once we
understand, we will know what to do.

The issue is not about others
understanding and taking us seriously.
The issue is not about others believing
we're good and good enough. The issue
is not about others seeing and believing
how responsible or loving or competent
we are. The issue is not about whether
others realize how deeply we are feeling
a particular feeling. We are the ones that
need to see the light.

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