Recovery is about allowing ourselves to
be who we are and accepting others as
be who we are and accepting others as
they are.
That concept may be difficult for some
of
us if we have lived in systems that
us if we have lived in systems that
function on the "right-wrong"
principle.
The person who was right was okay; the
person who was wrong was not okay.
Value and worth may have depended on
The person who was right was okay; the
person who was wrong was not okay.
Value and worth may have depended on
being right; to be wrong meant
annihilation of self and self-esteem.
annihilation of self and self-esteem.
We are learning how to strive for love
in
our relationships, not superiority. Yes, we
may need to make decisions about
people's behavior from time to time. If
someone is hurting us, we need to stand
up for ourselves. We have a
our relationships, not superiority. Yes, we
may need to make decisions about
people's behavior from time to time. If
someone is hurting us, we need to stand
up for ourselves. We have a
responsibility to take care of
ourselves.
But we do not need to justify taking
But we do not need to justify taking
care of ourselves by condemning
someone else. We can avoid the trap of
someone else. We can avoid the trap of
focusing on others instead of
ourselves.
We are learning that what we do needs
to be right only for us. What others do
to be right only for us. What others do
is their business and needs to be to be
right only for them. It's tempting to
rest in the superiority of being right and
in analyzing other people's motives and
actions.
right only for them. It's tempting to
rest in the superiority of being right and
in analyzing other people's motives and
actions.
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