ENABLERS:

A people-pleaser - they tend to be
displeasing. Being around someone who
is turned inside out to please another is
often irritating.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may
have adapted to survive in our family.
We may not have been able to get the
love and attention we wanted. We may
not have been given permission to
please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and
to choose a course of action that
demonstrated self-caring.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert.
We may run around fussing over others,

chattering a mile-a-minute when what
we are really saying is, "I hope I'm

pleasing you." Or, we may be more
covert, quietly going through life making

important decisions based on pleasing
others.

Taking other people's stuff into
consideration is an important part of our

relationships. We have responsibilities to
friends and family and employers. We
have a strong inner responsibility to be
loving and caring. But, people-pleasing
backfires. Not only do others get annoyed
with us, we often get annoyed when our
efforts to please do not work as we
planned. The most comfortable people to
be around are those who are considerate
of others but ultimately please themselves.

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