Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery): RELATIONSHIPS:

As we progress through recovery, we
learn we can no longer form relationships

solely on the basis of attraction. We learn
to be patient, to allow ourselves to take
into account important facts, and to
process information about that person.

What we are striving for in recovery is a
healthy attraction to people. We allow
ourselves to be attracted to who people
are, not to their potential or to what we
hope they are.

The more we overcome our need to be
excessive caretakers, the less we will

find ourselves attracted to people who
need to be constantly taken care of.

This is a slow process. We need to be
patient with ourselves. The type of

people we find ourselves attracted to
does not change overnight. Being

attracted to dysfunctional people can
linger long and well into recovery. That

does not mean we need to allow it to
control us. The fact is, we will initiate

and maintain relationships with people
we need to be with until we learn what

it is we need to learn – no matter how
long we've been recovering.

We can stop blaming our relationships
on God, and begin to take responsibility

for them. We can learn to enjoy the
healthy relationships, and remove

ourselves more quickly from the
dysfunctional ones.

We can learn to look for what's good for
us, instead of what's good for the other
person.