THE UNMANAGEABLE SIDE:

By the time we get to the Fourth of the
Twelve Steps, we are ready to face our

unmanageable side, the side that
prevents us from loving ourselves and
others, from letting others love us, and
from enjoying life. One of the purposes
of Step Four is not to make ourselves
feel worse; our purpose is to start to

remove our blocks to joy and love. We
also can't forget to search for our

positive traits as well.

We look for fears, anger, hurt, and
shame from past events – buried
feelings that may be affecting our life
today. We search for subconscious
beliefs about ourselves and others that
may be interfering with the quality of
our relationships. These beliefs say:
I'm not lovable … I'm a burden to
those around me … People can't be
trusted … I can't be trusted … I don't
deserve to be happy and successful …
Life isn't worth living. We look at our
behaviors and patterns with an eye
toward discerning the self-defeating
ones. With love and compassion for
ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt
– earned and unearned – and expose it
to the light.

We can perform this examination
without fear of what we shall find,
because this soul-searching can cleanse
us and help us feel better about
ourselves than we ever dreamt possible.

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