DETACHMENT:

Detachment doesn't come naturally for many of
us. But once we realize the value of this recovery
principle, we understand how vital detachment is.

"The first time I practiced detachment was when
I let go of my alcoholic husband. He had been
drinking since I had married him. For seven
years, I had been denying his alcoholism and
trying to make him stop drinking.

"I did outrageous things to make him stop
drinking, to make him see the light, to make
him realize how much he was hurting me. I
really thought I was doing things right by
trying to control him.

"One night, I saw things clearly. I realized that
my attempts to control him would never solve
the problem. I also saw that my life was
unmanageable. I couldn't make him do
anything he didn't want to do. His alcoholism
was controlling me, even though I wasn't
drinking.

"I set him free, to do as he chose. The truth is,
he did as he pleased anyway. Things changed
the night I detached. He could feel it, and so
could I. When I set him free, I set myself free
to live my own life.

"I've had to practice the principle of
detachment many times since then. I've had
to detach from unhealthy people and healthy
people. It's never failed. Detachment works."

Detachment is a gift. It will be given to us
when we're ready for it. When we set the
other person free, we are set free.

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