VULNERABILITY:

Some of us may have made a decision that no
one was ever going to hurt us again. We may
automatically go on "feelings freeze mode"
when faced with emotional pain.

Hurt feelings are a part of life, relationships,
and recovery.

It is understandable that we don't want to feel
any more pain. Many of us have had more than
our share. In fact, at some time in our life, we
may have been overwhelmed, crushed, or
stopped in our tracks by the amount of pain we
felt. We may not have had the resources to
cope with our pain or take care of ourselves.

That was yesterday. Today, we don't have to be
so frightened of pain. It does not have to
overwhelm us. We are becoming strong enough
to deal with hurt feelings. And we don't have to
become martyrs, claiming that hurt feelings and

suffering are all there is to life.

We need only allow ourselves to feel vulnerable
enough to feel hurt, when that's appropriate,
and take responsibility for our feelings,
behaviors, and what we need to do to take care
of ourselves. We don't have to analyze or

justify our feelings. We need to feel them, and
try not to let them control our behavior.

Maybe our pain is showing us we need to set a
boundary; maybe it's showing us we're going
in a wrong direction; maybe it's triggering a
deep healing process.

It's okay to feel hurt; it's okay to cry; it's okay
to heal; it's okay to move on to the next feeling,
when it's time. Our willingness and capacity to
feel hurt will eventually be matched by our
willingness and capacity to feel joy.

Being in recovery does not mean immunity
from pain; it means learning to take loving
care of ourselves when we are in pain.

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