INTIMACY:

Sometimes we have deeply
ingrained patterns for sabotaging
relationships. Some of us may
instinctively terminate a
relationship once it moves to a
certain level of closeness and
intimacy.

We may also zero in on one of
the person's character defects,
then make it so big it's all we
can see. We may withdraw, or
push the person away to create

distance. We may start
criticizing the other person.

Sometimes, we hurt ourselves by
trying to be close to people who
aren't available for intimacy –
people with active addictions, or
people who don't choose to be
close to us. Sometimes, we
choose people with particular
faults so that when it comes
time to be close, we have an
escape hatch.

In recovery, we're choosing to
relate to safe, healthy people, so
closeness is a possibility.
Closeness doesn't mean we
have to lose ourselves, or our
life.

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