NOT WILLPOWER:

Willpower is not the key to the
way of life we are seeking.
Surrender is.

"I have spent years trying to
make emotionally unavailable
people be emotionally present
for me," said one recovering
person.

What I'm saying is this: I've
spent much of my life
desperately and vainly trying
to do the impossible and
feeling like a failure when I
couldn't . It's been like planting
corn and trying to make the
seeds grow peas. Won't work!

"By surrendering to
powerlessness, I gain the
presence of mind to stop
wasting my time and energy
trying to change and control
that which I cannot change and

control. It gives me permission
to stop trying to do the
impossible and focus on what
is possible: being who I am,
loving myself, feeling what I
feel, and doing what I want to
do with my life."

In recovery, we learn to stop
fighting lions, simply because
we cannot win. We also learn
that the more we are focused
on controlling and changing
others, the more unmanageable
our life becomes. The more we
focus on living our own life,
the more we have a life to live,
and the more manageable our
life will become.

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