Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery): LOVE:

Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships

work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance

because the other person was unavailable or refused to

participate.

To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we

worked too hard. This may mask the situation for a while,

but we usually get tired. Then, when we stop doing all the

work, we notice there is no relationship.

Doing all the work in a relationship is not loving, giving,

or caring. It is self-defeating and relationship-defeating. It

creates the illusion of a relationship when in fact there may

be no relationship. It enables the other person to be irresponsible

for his or her share.

In our best relationships, we all have temporary periods where

one person participates more than the other. This is normal. But

as a permanent way of participating in relationships, it leaves us

feeling tired, worn out, needy, and angry.

We can learn to participate a reasonable amount, then let the

relationship find it's own life. Are we doing all the initiating?

We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be. We do

not help that process by trying to control it.

Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about making it happen.

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Bill Says: (A Blog About Recovery)