CONFLICTS:

Problems and conflicts are part of life and relationships
– with friends, family, loved ones, and at work.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in
relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and
victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved
problems, and power plays that intensify the problem
and waste time and energy.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in
mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is
a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to

negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand
what we want and need and what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be worked out,
worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated.

To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify
the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on
possible creative solutions.

We need to learn to identify what both people really
want and need and the different possibilities for working
it out. We can learn to be flexible without being to flexible.
Committed, intimate relationships mean two people are
learning to work together through their problems and
conflicts in ways that work in both people's best interest.

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