LOVE, IN WORDS AND ACTIONS:

Many of us were loved and cared for by people who had
discrepancies between what they said and did.

We may have had a mother or father who said, "I love you"
to us, and then abandoned or neglected us, giving us
confused ideas about love.

Some of us may have been cared for by people who
provided for our needs and said they loved us, but
simultaneously abused or mistreated us.

We may learn to love others or ourselves the way we have
been loved, or we may let others love us the way we have been
loved. It's time to let our needs be met in ways that actually
work. Unhealthy love may meet some surface needs, but not
our need to be loved.

We can come to expect congruency in behavior from others.
We can diminish the impact of words alone and insist that
behavior and words match.

We can find the courage, when appropriate, to confront
discrepancies in words and actions – not to shame, blame, or
find fault, but to help us stay in touch with reality and with
our needs.

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