PROVING IT TO OURSELVES:

Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we're
good enough, trying to show someone how much he or
she has hurt us, trying to show someone we're understanding,
are warning signs that we may be into our self-defeating

behaviors.

They can be a warning that we've allowed ourselves to get
hooked into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that
we're stuck in that cloudy fog of denial or doing something
that is not good for us.

Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean
that we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once
we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we
will know what to do.

The issue is not about others understanding and taking us
seriously. The issue is not about others believing we're good
and good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and
believing how responsible or loving or competent we are.
The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply
we are feeling a particular feeling. We are the ones that need
to see the light.

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