SADNESS:

In the past, we told ourselves many things to deny
the pain: It doesn't hurt that much … Maybe if I just
wait, things will change … It's no big deal. I can get
through this … Maybe if I try to change the other
person, I won't have to change myself.

We denied that it hurt because we didn't want to feel
the pain.

Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps repeating
itself, until it gets our attention, until we feel it, deal with
it, and heal. That's one lesson we are learning in recovery
from codependency and adult children issues.

Many of us didn't have the tools, support, or safety we
needed to acknowledge and accept pain in our past. It's
okay. We're safe now. Slowly, carefully, we can begin to
open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the
process of feeling what we have denied so long – not to
blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in preparation
for a better life.

It's okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness
many of us have stored within for so long. We can feel
and release these feelings.

Grief is a cleansing process. It's an acceptance process.
It moves us from our past, into today, and into a better
future – a future free of sabotaging behaviors, a future
that holds more options than our past.

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