ENABLERS:

A people-pleaser - they tend to be displeasing. Being around
someone who is turned inside out to please another is often
irritating.

People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to
survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the
love and attention we wanted. We may not have been given
permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to

choose a course of action that demonstrated self-caring.

People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around
fussing over others, chattering a mile-a-minute when what
we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we
may be more covert, quietly going through life making

important decisions based on pleasing others.

Taking other people's stuff into consideration is an
important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities
to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner
responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people-pleasing
backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often
get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we
planned. The most comfortable people to be around are
those who are considerate of others but ultimately please
themselves.

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