LOVE, IN WORDS AND ACTIONS:

~

Many of us were loved and cared for by people who had discrepancies
between what they said and did.

We may have had a mother or father who said, "I love you" to us, and
then abandoned or neglected us, giving us confused ideas about love.

Some of us may have been cared for by people who provided for our needs
and said they loved us, but simultaneously abused or mistreated us.

We may learn to love others or ourselves the way we have been loved, or
we may let others love us the way we have been loved. It's time to let our
needs be met in ways that actually work. Unhealthy love may meet some
surface needs, but not our need to be loved.

We can come to expect congruency in behavior from others. We can diminish
the impact of words alone and insist that behavior and words match.

We can find the courage, when appropriate, to confront discrepancies in
words and actions – not to shame, blame, or find fault, but to help us stay in
touch with reality and with our needs.

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