LOVE, IN WORDS AND ACTIONS:

Many of us were loved and cared for by people who had
discrepancies between what they said and did.

We may have had a mother or father who said, "I love you" to us,
and then abandoned or neglected us, giving us confused ideas about
love.

Some of us may have been cared for by people who provided for
our needs and said they loved us, but simultaneously abused or
mistreated us.

We may learn to love others or ourselves the way we have been
loved, or we may let others love us the way we have been loved.
It's time to let our needs be met in ways that actually work.
Unhealthy love may meet some surface needs, but not our need to
be loved.

We can come to expect congruency in behavior from others. We can
diminish the impact of words alone and insist that behavior and
words match.

We can find the courage, when appropriate, to confront
discrepancies in words and actions – not to shame, blame, or find
fault, but to help us stay in touch with reality and with our needs.

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