PROVING IT TO OURSELVES:

Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we're good
enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us,
trying to show someone we're understanding, are warning signs
that we may be into our self-defeating behaviors.

They can be a warning that we've allowed ourselves to get hooked
into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that we're stuck in
that cloudy fog of denial or doing something that is not good for us.

Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that
we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once we make
that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what
to do.

The issue is not about others understanding and taking us
seriously. The issue is not about others believing we're good and
good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and believing
how responsible or loving or competent we are. The issue is not
about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a
particular feeling. We are the ones that need to see the light.

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