Some thoughts about recovery. * Take what you like and leave the rest.
Feelings of hurt or anger can be some of the most difficult to face.We can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when thesefeelings appear.
Sometimes, to gain a sense of control, we may punish the peoplearound us, whether they are people we blame for these feelings orinnocent bystanders. We may try to "get even," or we maymanipulate behind people's backs to gain a sense of power over thesituation.
Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have towork so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun asfeeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.
We can surrender to them, feel them, and go on. Emotional paindoes not have to devastate us. We can sit still, feel the pain, figureout if there's something we need to do to take care of ourselves,and then go on with our life.
We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish others toget control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurtfeelings with others. That brings relief and often healing to themand to us.
Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes fromallowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real powercomes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when wefeel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding othersresponsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all ourfeelings.
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