LOVE:

Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships
work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance
because the other person was unavailable or refused to
participate.

To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we
worked too hard. This may mask the situation for a while,
but we usually get tired. Then, when we stop doing all the
work, we notice there is no relationship.

Doing all the work in a relationship is not loving, giving, or
caring. It is self-defeating and relationship-defeating. It
creates the illusion of a relationship when in fact there may
be no relationship. It enables the other person to be
irresponsible for his or her share.

In our best relationships, we all have temporary periods
where one person participates more than the other. This is
normal. But as a permanent way of participating in
relationships, it leaves us feeling tired, worn out, needy,
and angry.

We can learn to participate a reasonable amount, then let
the relationship find it's own life. Are we doing all the
initiating?

We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
We do not help that process by trying to control it.

Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about making it
happen.

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